The Truth About Your Inner Critic—and How to Finally Disarm It

Who’s That Voice in Your Head?

You’re getting ready for a presentation. Or scrolling through your to-do list at 8am. Out of nowhere, a voice pipes up:

“You’re not ready.”

“Why do you always do this?”

“No one’s going to take you seriously.”

It’s not screaming. It doesn’t need to. It’s quiet but cutting—just sharp enough to sink into your confidence. And before you’ve even realised, your shoulders are tense.

Your energy’s gone. A wave of self-doubt has arrived.

That voice? That’s your inner critic.

And no—it’s not you.

What Is the Inner Critic (and Why Does It Sound So Real)?

The inner critic is a form of negative self-talk. It’s like a running commentary in your mind that pokes, prods, and questions your worth. For many of us, this voice has been around for years—formed by upbringing, social expectations, or cultural messages that told us love and belonging had to be earned.

It might echo a parent’s high standards, a teacher’s disapproval, or the subtle weight of a society that links value with performance. Over time, it becomes automatic. So automatic, you stop questioning it.

But you can. And you should.

The Cost of Believing Your Inner Critic

When we treat the inner critic like truth, we begin to live in its shadow.

• We don’t apply for jobs that excite us.

• We silence ourselves in relationships.

• We overwork, overthink, over-apologise.

Why? Because of fear.

• Fear of failing.

• Fear of being too much.

• Fear of not being enough.

These are the critic’s roots. And if left unchecked, that inner voice shapes not just our mood—but our choices, our posture, our entire sense of self.

Why You Can’t Just Silence It

The usual advice? “Just think positively.” Or “Tell it to shut up.”

But anyone who’s tried knows—it doesn’t work. Why? Because the inner critic isn’t trying to hurt you. It thinks it’s protecting you.

Therapeutic approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) suggest this part of you is scared. It learned—somewhere along the line—that being harsh keeps you safe. Safe from shame. Safe from embarrassment. Safe from being seen as less.

That doesn’t mean the critic is right. But it does mean it deserves compassion.

A Mindful Way to Handle Your Inner Critic

Here’s how to work with your inner critic—without judging it, and without letting it lead:

1. Name the Voice

Give it a name. “The Judge.” “Perfectionist Pete.” “Anxious Annie.”

This small act creates psychological space. You are not the critic. You’re the one observing it.

2. Notice It Without Becoming It

When the voice shows up, pause.

“Ah, there’s that old track again.”

Not “I’m failing.” Not “I’m not good enough.”

Just awareness. This is mindfulness in motion—creating space between stimulus and response.

3. Respond with Curiosity and Kindness

Instead of resisting it, get curious.

“What are you trying to protect me from?”

Often, the answer is fear—of rejection, of not being accepted. When you respond with compassion, the critic softens. It stops being the one with the mic.

Your wise self takes over—the part of you that knows growth is messy, and that you’re still worthy in the middle of it.

Speaking to Yourself Like a Friend

You don’t have to drown the critic in unrealistic positivity. Try saying:

• “You’re doing okay.”

• “It’s normal to feel nervous.”

• “This doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.”

Use the friend test: If you wouldn’t say it to someone you care about, it probably doesn’t belong in your own mind either.

✏️ Try This:

Write a letter from your future self—five years from now, wiser and steadier—back to the you who’s struggling today. What would they say?

The Body Remembers the Critic Too

The inner critic doesn’t just speak in thoughts. It speaks in sensations.

• A tight chest

• A clenched jaw

• That sinking feeling in your belly

When this happens, place a hand on your chest. Breathe deeply. Remind yourself: “I’m safe right now.”

Your body can help ground you when your mind forgets how.

You Are Not the Critic. You’re the One Listening.

The goal isn’t to erase the voice. It’s to stop mistaking it for you.

You are the one who notices. Who chooses. Who grows.

And in that space between judgment and compassion, you get to reclaim your power.

Journal Prompts 🖋

• When does my inner critic show up most?

• What is it trying to protect me from?

• What would my wiser self say in that moment?

About the Author

Josef (Yossi) Rozio is a registered counsellor, licensed NLP practitioner, and founder of Mindful Reactions, offering counselling across the Central Coast, Newcastle, and online throughout Australia.

With a professional background in counselling, hypnotherapy, and neuro-linguistic programming, Josef integrates evidence-based techniques with a warm, human-first approach. His work centres on helping people reduce anxiety, quiet the inner critic, and reconnect with their deeper sense of clarity and self-worth.

Josef is passionate about guiding clients through personal transformation—blending modern psychology with mindfulness, philosophy, and practical insight. Whether in one-on-one sessions or group settings, he creates a grounded space for people to explore meaning, reframe limiting beliefs, and build inner resilience.